I Look Forward to a Good Cry...It Feels Pretty Good

Okay, first blog...'don't really know what to say. I have a myspace that gives the option of posting blogs but I stopped posting things there because I like my privacy. I'm posting here now because it turns out a lot of my friends have a blogspot and I figure it's a good way to keep everyone up to date, especially since I'll be abroad next year in England.

So...my blog title: I tried to come up with something clever and poetic, something that really said something about me. All I could think of was this quote that I found on one of my friends' myspace which i soon transferred to my own page. I don't know who said it but it sums up a grand portion of my life and how I see things:
"I believe in the deathlessness of the theatre. It is the happiest loophole of escape for those who have secretly put their childhood in their pockets and have gone off with it to play to the end of their days."

My current mood: sad and nostalgic.
I had to say goodbye to two friends this week. The fact that the school year finishing up is finally hitting me and I always hate saying goodbye and drawing things to an end.
I have no motivation to do anything...and I have three finals coming up plus a takehome final paper thingy that I haven't even started.

I just had a little cry a while ago after reading some poems that my friend Stacy posted. It was weird 'cause I don't usually cry when I'm reading- I usually cry during movies and plays. Then I remembered the last thing I read that made me cry. It was a poem from the novel, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky:

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it.

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly.

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

Anything that reminds me of the flight of childhood innocence and the way people change for the worst or were never who you thought they were in the first place puts me in quite the melancholy mood.

'Wish I could begin my blogs here on a happier note.

Stacy: I will finish Wallflower. It's what I'm bringing to Ashland and it's what I'm going to be while I'm there.